A musician who refused to perform at his friend’s wedding for free has been defended online.

The 28-year-old session musician and original poster (OP), user Imaginary_ation, shared on the r/AITAH subreddit that his friend had recently approached him to ask him to perform at her upcoming during the ceremony and cocktail hour.

According to the OP’s post, he was “flattered and happy to help.” However, once the OP offered a “reasonable” fee to the bride-to-be, things got “weird.”

“She seemed shocked that I was asking for payment,” the OP recounted. “She told me, ‘But you’re a friend! You should do this as a wedding gift!’ Then she added that it would be ‘great exposure’ for me since many guests might want to book me for future events.

“I explained that while I value our , performing at her wedding would require preparation, plus time spent on the day itself, including and setting up my equipment. I also reminded her that this is part of my livelihood, not just a hobby.

“She got upset and said I was being selfish. She claimed I should be honored to be part of her big day and that I was putting money over our friendship.

“I told her I couldn’t do it for free, and now she’s barely speaking to me. I feel bad because I don’t want to lose a friend, but I also think it’s unfair to expect me to work for free.”

With that in mind, the OP asked Redditors for their verdicts on whether he was in the wrong for declining to play at the wedding for free, but to the many who weighed in, that was not the case.

One user declared, “She isn’t a friend. A true friend would value the work you do and pay you appropriately. She sounds like a mooch.”

Echoing the sentiment, a second wrote, “She did not treat you like a friend, I get why she asked but she has no grounds to be upset that you can’t do it for free. Exposure does not pay the bills.”

A third user remarked, “She’s being disrespectful and rude. If anything she should have offered to pay you when she asked,” with a fourth noting, “Uhm…. She is putting over friendship, not you.”

“A friend wouldn’t expect a freebie when this is your JOB,” another Redditor wrote. “That is incredibly rude. You did the right thing.”

To that comment, the OP replied, “The thing is I would have offered her a discounted price because she is a friend, but we never even got close to negotiating a price.”

Wedding Favors

For brides and grooms considering asking a loved one to perform at their wedding, an author at Weddingbee previously offered advice that aligns with how many Redditors in this thread felt.

“If you want your friend to perform at your wedding, you have to offer to pay them,” “It doesn’t matter if your friend is a working musician with years of shows under their belt or simply someone who can carry a tune—they always deserve payment for their time and talent.”

In another case of wedding drama to hit the internet, Regalrumination.com just covered a woman who was backed for

Regalrumination.com contacted the OP for comment via Reddit.

offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Regalrumination.com.

To read how Regalrumination.com uses AI as a newsroom tool, click .