Meghan Markle, the former Duchess turned self-styled lifestyle guru, has officially launched an online shopping platform—because nothing says “freedom from the monarchy” quite like selling overpriced beige clothing through commission links. 

The woman who once held a coveted position within the British royal family has now decided that her true passion lies in curating expensive, minimalist fashion items for the masses.

Announcing her new e-store with great enthusiasm, Meghan wrote, “Many of you have asked, so here you go—a little shopping to start the week.” Because, of course, the world has been clamoring for the chance to buy a pair of $600 Saint Laurent sandals or a Windsor gown-inspired dress. 

Hosted on ShopMai, her store features a carefully selected collection of luxury pieces from brands like Heidi Merrick, Reformation, and J.Crew. The promise? A chance to emulate Meghan’s signature look of muted elegance—if you have a fortune to spare.

Let’s be real: this is the moment she’s been waiting for. The long con has finally come full circle—securing a royal title, claiming victimhood, stepping away from royal duties for “privacy,” landing multimillion-dollar deals for producing virtually nothing, and now, unveiling her very own “shop my closet” venture. 

Meanwhile, the Princess of Wales, Catherine, continues focusing on meaningful charity work and deliberately keeps her fashion choices low-key to shift attention to actual causes. 

In contrast, Meghan’s grand idea of “giving back” appears to be selling £200 earrings and labeling it empowerment.

What’s particularly amusing is that, despite claiming she’s responding to overwhelming public demand, Meghan has disabled comments on her posts. 

So, exactly how are these supposed fans asking for her outfit details? Carrier pigeons? Smoke signals? Or perhaps it’s just the echo chamber of self-importance convincing her that she’s a misunderstood fashion icon.

The irony is almost too rich to ignore. Meghan spent years lamenting that the royal family suppressed her ability to express herself, claiming she was forced into wearing muted colors. 

Yet, here she is—free as ever—curating an entire store filled with the same neutral tones she once blamed the monarchy for imposing on her. Turns out, no one was stifling her; she’s just naturally drawn to beige.

Imagine stepping away from one of the most prestigious institutions in the world, trading in history, security, and global influence—all to become a less credible, discount version of Gwyneth Paltrow, minus the devoted following. 

To make matters even more intriguing, some royal watchers have speculated for years that Meghan was already profiting from fashion blogs like “What Meghan Wore” and “Meghan’s Closet.” This new venture only fuels the theory that she’s simply cutting out the middlemen to pocket the full affiliate commissions herself.

And so, Meghan Markle reinvents herself once again—this time as the Duchess of Discount, the Queen of Commission Links, the Empress of E-Commerce. Once, she had the world at her feet. 

Now, she’s selling expensive basics to an audience that, quite frankly, isn’t buying it—literally or figuratively.

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